Help Wanted

I just saw a meme advising to “Surround yourself with those on the same mission as you.” I am on a mission – one that can only succeed with the cooperation of MANY good people who share my vision, but I’m currently all alone.

My vision is to create “Step-Up” communities. (For a fuller explanation please click “HERE”) Eventually, I hope there may be many of them, all around the world. These will be communities where people who are homeless, destitute, escaping domestic abuse, broken by the cruelty of others, suffering from various traumas, etc., can be safe, heal, learn, rebuild, and create the best, possible version of their future lives.

I know I cannot be the only one in this world who sees all the pain from others’ cruelty crushing the glorious, God-given potential in their victims. I cannot be the only one who realizes that this must be stopped! It is not only the victims, themselves, who suffer from this, but also the entire world. We may never know all the wonders and beauties that should have been created by the people we allowed to be destroyed by evil, but our ignorance does not diminish our loss. The loss is not just of the people, themselves, who were crushed before they could accomplish their greatness, but of all the accomplishments of all the people who would have been inspired by those destroyed dreams. What amazing paradise this world might already have been had we not stood aside and allowed evil to steal it from us!

Even worse, cruelty and abuse become generational curses, as children, warped and embittered by the abuse they suffered, turn into abusive spouses and parents. It is a vicious cycle that must be reversed or it will spread, eventually destroying everyone. I know it can be healed, however, with loving kindness and some effort. Maybe we cannot stop damaged people from being hateful and abusive, but we can save their victims and help them heal before they, themselves, become damaged beyond repair. We can help them become shining, joyful successes, each person capable of saving many others, and parenting children who will grow up healthy, happy, and capable of helping save yet more. In this way we can turn a generational curse into a generational blessing that will eventually fill the earth instead. We, ourselves, may not live long enough to see its ultimate fulfillment, but perhaps paradise on earth is possible for our children and grandchildren if we begin the work toward it now. Even if we fall short, the point is that we must stop as much cruelty as we can. As many people as possible must be saved, for everyone’s sake.

I hope this is a mission that many people could easily share, but I don’t even know where to begin to find these people. I’ve been struggling to heal and get back on my feet since my divorce from my abusive husband took everything I had, leaving me destitute, broken, physically in pain, and, according to the doctors, dying. I’ve been thinking I need to figure out how to save myself before I can save others. Sadly, I’ve been failing so far, alone, isolated, without kindness, encouragement or real love from those I love and try to serve.

Isolation is deadly. We are made to be communal creatures and man is not good alone. The solitary person keeps asking himself what is the point of working so hard to survive when there is no one in the world who cares if he dies? What purpose is he serving when he is serving no one but himself? Is there any point to his life at all? Life becomes a moment by moment struggle to find any reason not to just give up.

This vision of creating Step-Up communities – this hope of one day being able to help others – has become most of what has kept me surviving through this last year, but I’m no nearer to realizing it than I was a year ago. Despite all my efforts to improve my situation, I’m still continuously losing ground rather than gaining. I’m trying to heal while still trapped in unhealthy conditions with people who are still harming me. How can anybody heal old wounds when new wounds must constantly be addressed? I’m struggling, and failing, to create an income – to make something from nothing. It is common sense that I must be able to support myself and my children before I can even begin to support others, right? At the rate I’m going, however, I’m guaranteed to die before I’ve helped anyone at all.

I clearly need a new tactic. Maybe I should just throw myself into realizing this vision. Maybe my own healing requires me to heal others first. I believe this vision of Step-Up communities is a mission set for me by God. Maybe I should just let everything else go – like trying to survive and support my children – and find a way to follow it, trusting in God, alone, to provide the means. Is it just me, or does this sound crazy?

How can I realize this vision of a haven for those who need healing? How can I build something this wonderful from nothing – even less than nothing? I have no idea where to begin and nothing with which to start. All I know is that God created this entire, amazing world from only chaos and void – less than nothing. If I give God my emptiness and pain, which is all I have left to offer, couldn’t God create these Step-Up communities from that? Perhaps I don’t need to raise the money first. It sounds insane, but maybe that it the point of faith. Perhaps I should shift my focus to trusting in God and seek wiser, more capable people to help me start doing what God wants me to do. Maybe the meme is right and I should seek out others on the same mission. If it is really from God, I can’t be the only one to whom He gave it, can I? But where can I even begin to find these other people who share my mission?

God, help me, please!